Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Shea

The late great Lefty Frizzel once sang a song about the "Cigarette and Coffee Blues", well if I were a honky tonk singer my version would be the "Stone Cold Dogs and Piss Warm Lites Blues".

As they say you cant learn the blues, you gotta live them, and anyone that's been to Opening Day at Shea in the past ten years knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Now I'm not gonna tell ya a story like Old Grandad did and tell you how I used to eat uncooked Sabretts and drank skunked Rheingold drafts back in the old timer days after walking to Flushing backwards and uphill in a blizzard -- and not only did I like it, hell I loved it.

I'm going to tell you a story about Aramark, ok maybe not so much tell a story as just say they suck ass. If competition does indeed breed excellence, then the opposite must be true and being awarded a no competition contract festers incompetence. Let's hope Citi is gastronomically more accommodating.

A lot of people more discerning than I may mock Shea, but I loved it the first time I walked in the place, and when the cop near our seats told me and the Fly that we should just start bringing in our own hooch....well, I dont think I have to tell y'all how much that meant to me, but suffice to say alot... not so much to trade my signed Gilkey bat.. but alot.

See where I grew up we didn't have the luxury of any big league teams, so by default I didn't have any big league teams that I rooted for all that much (mind you this was before ESPN). The nearest team growing up was the Syracuse Chiefs the AAA affiliate of the Blue Jays, but I never became a Jays fan as the only thing I hated more than Buffalo was Canada. I know I know.. they're pretty much the same thing. Point taken. I saw some pretty good ball players like Johnny O on their way up to the bigs, but more importantly for this discussion I ate a lot of hot dogs. A lot of them.

Some may not realize that the Syracuse area is a hotbed for hot dog cuisine, but I'm telling ya it is. Hot dogs and baseball went together like well -- hot dogs and baseball, and going to Chief games at the old MacArthur Stadium when they were winning, well -- you sure done did git your fill of both.

Like most minor league teams, it was all about the gimmicks and the Chiefs used to have one where if they won by two runs you got a BK burger after the game, but hot damn if they won by three+ runs your ticket stub was good for one "one and one" at Heid's of Liverpool -- the hot dog mecca of Central New York. A one and one is two dogs; a red (german) and a white (coney) on a double wide bun two slits on top. Perhaps the greatest dog creation ever. Strike that.... The Greatest Hot Dog Creation Ever!

I didn't even mind so much that they had a permaban of tomato products on their premises. I had to go raw dog -- no toppings. Because that is how I roll. Still do. Snoop Donkey Donk in the motherfuckin house.

For that I thank Heids and the historic Hoffman and Heinz feud that went back to the Hinterland for if not for that I might have had a propensity to "drown my food" against the best wishes of School House Rock....

"I'm Louis the Lifeguard and happy to say / I rescued a drowning potato today! / They drowned it in sour cream, oh, what a shame / 'Cause food's so much better when it's practically plain!"

....and I would not not be the dog connoisseur that I am today.

After just one bite, not only can I tell you what brand and style the dog is, but what plant it was processed in, what day of the week it was packaged, and whether or not the pig was in fact happy rolling around in mud before their selfless sacrifice.

Ok all that might be a bunch of malarkey, but suffice it to say I know my dogs.

On that note and now that I have established my credentials I would like to announce an ongoing series of this blog... "The Dugout Dog Shout Out" which in cooperation with the Queens College Physics Department we will be formulating a direct correlation between the quality of Shea Dogs on game day with the Mets performance on that given day. For all you stat heads out there; I promise you wont be disappointed, as rumor has it, we're even going to be using calculators.

Tick tock April 9th is coming so bring on them piss warm beers and ice cold dogs but more importantly .....

Let's Go Mets!!!